You want to play D&D but you haven’t got a group.

There’s an old internet meme that cites D&D as ‘the dorkiest game in the world; requires friends’. My take it that if you’re going hang around at home on a Friday night pretending to be a wizard then at least invite some mates over. Whatever. Fact is to play these amazing games you’ll need a group. Fortunately, TTRPGs have never been so cool! I started out in the 90s and whilst I never cared about being thought of as a fantasy nerd, apparently other people did and seemed unwilling to give it a try. It was tough to get a game going especially here in the UK where I had no shortage of people to play Warhammer with but fewer were willing to try D&D. I was pretty persistent though so …

Option 1: Find a Group.

The internet has changed everything. Whatever your interest, the internet can connect you with like-minded people. In this article we’ll give a few tips on how to find a group, or set up your own group and the importance of playing with the right people for you. We’ll also cover the differences in playing in person and online to help you choose the right way to go.

One of the easiest ways to get a game is to sign up to a VTT (virtual table top) platform like Roll20. and use their search functions to find a game. I have to say I don’t recommend doing this. I’ve never done it myself but I have heard too many horror stories about self-indulgent and rude behaviour ruining games. We all know that people can behave differently via their online personas than in real life. That’s not to say that the internet is a bad place to make friends but just logging on and starting a game with complete randos can result in a let down.

Trust Local

I think a better search system is to find a local gaming store and ask about games running in store or post on the groups associated with that store. Every FLGS (friendly local game store) is going to have a Facebook page or some type of social media presence and asking here is probably a better way to go. I have found great groups by doing this. I am comfortable turning up to play in-person with people I haven’t met but you can just as easily find a group to play online with. I think finding a group linked to a store somehow helps getting a better quality of game.

Don’t be afraid to be selective. Just because someone plays D&D it doesn’t mean you want to play it with them. No matter what your hobby, sharing the experience with someone you don’t get along with can spoil it. This applies doubly so for TTRPGs, where someone’s personality and communication style is more relevant than in say, basketball or RC racing.

Let your DM support you.

Make you sure you get an encouraging response from the GM/DM. Any GM you are willing to play with should provide you with a significant amount of support in creating a character and go to lengths to make you feel welcome and comfortable. I’ve introduced a lot of players to D&D, both friends, family and people that have reached out me via the internet. It’s part of the nature of TTRPGs that making a character is more complicated that playing that character. There are a lot of ways to take the hassle out of creating a character. D&D Beyond is the official resource provided by the makers of that game and includes a useful character creation tool to guide you through the process and there are also many pre-made characters that can be downloaded for free for a quick pick up and play. The Cypher System also has an online tool and it’s particularly slick in my view.

I’ve created characters for new players to try a game so they can just sit down and play without ever opening a rule book and whilst this is fine for a session or two, most people will gain a lot more from a game if they are able to create their own character. TTRPGs are a wonderfully a creative and imaginative pastime and making your character feel your own can be very beneficial to this. Your GM/DM should be able to help you with this.

I guide new players through character creation with regular messages and conversations. It’s one thing to ask a new player if they want to be a fighter or a wizard but that doesn’t mean much to someone who’s never played before. They won’t know that a fighter is a much simpler character to play and a wizard is more complicated. They won’t know that a fighter is going to have fewer options in gameplay than the wizard but that the fighter will perform consistently whilst the wizard will sometimes be ‘waiting for their moment’. Sure, they have an idea of whether they want to use magic or a sword but perhaps their vision of a spellcaster is better served by playing a warlock, or their imagining of a swordsman is well reflected by a paladin.

From the very start I work to provide my players with informed choices. Choice without understanding of the consequences is no more than a random selection. If your GM doesn’t put the effort in at character creation (the most important choice you’ll make in the game) then I wouldn’t be reassured that they’ll take your choices seriously in gameplay. You should feel there is no question you can’t ask and that your GM/DM values you from the very beginning. I make sure that the player makes the choices to create a character that works the way they want it to, that feels the way they want it to. I advise but I don’t tell, I ask what they want and give options with explanations of how that will ‘feel’ not just what rules effect it will give.

If they are able and willing to support you in making your character beyond simply citing the rules at you then they are more likely to be understanding and support your decisions in game when you are unsure of an aspect of the rules, as you undoubtedly will be in the beginning.

Your GM/DM should also tell you a bit about the type of game they are planning to run. Think carefully about whether this is something you are willing to get on board with. Is this game going to be combat heavy or more investigative or mystery focused? Will it be strict to the rules or use the rules as more of a guideline framework? Will it be a relaxed and jokey vibe or serious and gritty? Tactical, grid based combat or imaginative, theatre of the mind? Will the game have a strong narrative plot or be more open-world? It doesn’t matter if they don’t have answers to all these questions but they should give you some way of understanding if this is the sort of game for you.

Option 2: Make your own Group.

Since you’re the one here reading this you are the one with the drive and energy to make it happen. Congratulations, you’re the Dungeon Master! Don’t worry. It’s easy and there is plenty of help available on DM-XP. For now suffice to say it’s not nearly as hard as you might think. If you’ve seen Stranger Things you’ll know that kids can do it.

I think the best way to start is to ask your friends if they fancy giving it a go. The popularity of Stranger Things and the Dungeons & Dragons movie; Honor Among Thieves mean more people than ever are aware of and interested in this hobby, after all, you are! I suppose some people are just never going to have the imagination and love of fictional realms to really get it but I truly believe this hobby and table-top roleplaying games have a far broader appeal than many people realise. Perhaps you could send a link to the DM-XP article ‘What is a Table Top Roleplaying Game and Why You Should you Play One’.

And remember, we can all level up!